Out with the old, in with the new…I put together a short list to help you identify a toxic friendship:
1. When you don’t like who you are when you are around them. They bring out the worst in you.
2. When you feel deflated and drained after being in their presence.
3. When they make you feel bad about yourself, pressure or guilt trip you or you fight constantly.
4. When you have to psych yourself out just to spend time with them.
5. When you no longer like or respect them.
6. When the balance is way off, either they don’t reciprocate your efforts or vice-versa.
Here is what is vitally important to understand, how you do anything is how you do everything. Typically, those who have unhealthy marriages, more than likely have unhealthy friendships, and those who have unhealthy friendships, typically have bad work relationships, etc. Bad habits follow us into every type of relationship. “We” are the common denominator.
Healthy relationships inspire us, they don’t suck the life out of us or make us miserable. When this is the case, ending the relationship is a must. “Luckily, most friendships have a natural life-cycle. Often, we are drawn together by circumstance – work, the single life, kids – and as our situations change, we gradually drift apart. On a deeper level, our friendships mirror our internal life. As we gain a deeper sense of self, what use to matter, no longer does, and we are bound to outgrow certain friendships, says Dr. Florence Falk. Once you’re aware of that, without being cruel or feeling guilt-ridden, you can begin to let go of certain relationships that no longer nourish your most authentic self.” I have a need for truth and clarity in all things. So I prefer to write verses talk in most cases. But there is more than one way to end a friendship amicably. I recommend being as honest as the relationship will allow while exercising love and grace. When you are ending a relationship that once meant so much, out of respect, the other party has a right to know the truth. Sometimes they are prepared to hear it, sometimes they are not, either way, it’s the right thing to do. #WhenAFriendshipEnds #MakeRoom #EarleneBuggs #EBsPinkNotes💗