“What’s love got to do with it…?”
Here’s what you should know…love doesn’t require us to wager our self-esteem, self respect or emotional well-being in it’s name. It is detrimentally important for us to understand that when we allow ourselves to be misused and abused in relationships, it was not the presence of love that damaged us. It was the absence of self-love that caused our demise! It’s not easy giving up your heart when you’ve had it broken into a million pieces. And as much as I hate to admit it, heartbreak is an unavoidable aspect of our experience with love. We can’t force others to love us…but we can refuse to give up the best parts of ourselves in a relationship when the level of commitment doesn’ justify the uninhibited expression of love.
We get off track when we attempt to place requirements on love. The whole point to love is that it is free and by design, unconditional. Our love for others should never be linked to their behavior. However, disrespect, neglect, and disloyalty are all behaviors that should carry severe consequences. We should never accept behavior from others that leaves us broken, degraded, or emotionally damaged. Often times, we want to blame love for our broken hearts, when in fact, it was our own acceptance of bad behavior and our unrealistic expectations that broke our hearts, not love.
Our commitment is what obligates us in a relationship, not love. Love in and of itself requires nothing of us. It is possible for us to love and not commit, or commit and not love. They are not one in the same. You can only hold a person accountable according to an agreement, not because they love you or you love them. Always remember, none of us can control who we love, we can only control how we love. And just because you choose not to accept a persons bad behavior, doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means you love yourself too❣